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Sexy Asexual

Updated: Jan 22, 2022

For some reason this absolutely baffles people that asexual people have sex. Which honestly I understand because for the longest fucking time I had no clue that I was ace because I enjoyed participating in sex. Majority of the people I had talked to who were ace were well sex repulsed and/or didn't engage in sex at all.

So lets get some definitions straight, I don't experience any sexual attraction to anyone. Therefore I am ace. This perplexed one of my partners who sweetly thought we would never have sex again and was happy with that as long as they still get to date me. In which that is the most adorable thing in the world.

However I enjoy sex so as sweet as it was, it was not the reality of the situation. That is it. My mind is seriously in the sewers for how dirty it can be. Ask any one of my friends. I am genuinely no innocent person just for being asexual. The only person who isn't confused by my being of aceness (not a word but roll with it) is my best friend. As they in turn are the one person who truly gets me. Honestly they knew before I did and I just sat here like this was meant to be a dramatic coming out. Next time I will bake a cake or something I swear.

I think the other thing that confuses people is how do I know who I like, well for one there is such thing as romantic attraction. Two, regardless ace people don't have to date. No one does for that matter. They don't need a relationship to fulfil them, make them whole or what not. For me my partners are always going to be someone I can have fun with, someone I could see spending a considerable amount of time with (without considering murder), and someone I can trust. In addition to a long list of personal criteria.

Overall ace people can be sexy, dirty and want to have sex, somewhere in the middle or completely hate the idea of sex and that is fine. No one can take being ace away from you at all. Or me really. The only criteria is really just not having sexual attraction, if you have that then awesome. With this I don't really need to label myself however being bi, pan, gay or whatever didn't feel like me when all I have ever felt is romantic attraction to anyone. However I am not going to define my romantic attraction because we I don't need to. Regardless of my attraction, I get to choose who I date and what I do with my life. No point being restricted by my chosen or unchosen labels.

If you are questioning your sexuality, understand that you don't need a label for recognition or even to belong in a community. You can choose to label yourself but do it for you and no one else. I choose to label myself ace because it helped me not anyone else. Like I said my best friend already knew before I put a label on it and she accepted me regardless. Just find the people who accept you for who you are regardless of labels.

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