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Healing with my Tattoo

Updated: Jan 28, 2022

I got a tattoo, somewhat of a normal thing to do now days. Some tattoos have a story and some don't. Mine does, and if you are part of the witchy pagan community you will probably be able to guess the meaning behind my tattoo. In all honesty it has multiple symbols through it that can be used for different interpretations. It is art after all.


Getting my first tattoo created a sense of relief that I have never felt before. A big part of it is claiming my body as mine. For many people this may seem like a weird concept. However if you have some of the trauma that I have faced, you can start to feel like you don't own your own body. I have now put art on my body that symbolises a part of me on my skin making it more mine than it was ever before.


This is honestly hard to talk about but I feel the hard things should be said when you are ready for it. So this is a trigger warning for those who have been through tough shit through life. If you get triggered easily please stop reading, I love your support but I want you to look after yourself.


So now that the trigger warning is out of the way. There is a lot of reasons for my body not feeling like mine, whether it is the comments on my body from my family or classmates to the more harsher scenarios of being sexually & physically assaulted by "romantic" partners. There is also the addition of gender dysphoria which many times has left me panicking in the changing rooms. So overall most of my teen hood felt like my body wasn't mine.


Do I blame the people in my life, well my family and classmates making comments were either ignorant about how it impacted me and when they knew it stopped to be honest. So no I don't blame them just overall it had accumulated as things like that do. I do think it was the combination of this and the fact that I am not cis just made it harder for me to accept my body.


I do blame my assaulters they knew what they were doing. They were either actively hurting me or ignoring my needs completely. Also it wasn't just one person it was multiple people. I constantly ended up romantically with these entitled assholes. Which there is no excuse for and now it is time for me to heal. In which tattooing myself has allowed me to heal.


It makes me feel like me. It's my body and my choice, no one can tell me what to do and how to do it. I get to put art on my skin that makes me feel comfortable and more connected to my identity than I was before.


For the explanation behind my first tattoo, like I said it has multiple symbols through out it. One that most people know is a semi-colon on my wrist, for suicide and self harm awareness. The other is the antler bow in combination with the moon being a hint towards Artemis' Hunt. Which for me has the importance of Ace recognition and fighting for something you believe in. The stars are just pretty and help bring the piece together. My artist also said there is some sailor moon inspiration in it too which I appreciate.


It is definitely the first of many tattoos. In the end it helped me in the long run. I had to take a break while writing this because emotions exist. Which sometime I rather ignore them but that doesn't help anyone.

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